In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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