Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Its about making memories worth repressing
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
