guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
