I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
