Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
