Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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