What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
