So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
