You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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