Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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