And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh god it's open bar.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
