Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
