i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
