come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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