So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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