this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
