God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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