found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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