There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
