Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize