Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
