i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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