Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
