That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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