We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
