i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
