Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
