So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize