This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
