Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
