erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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