I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize