After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
