I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
