Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
