we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
