I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
