Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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