Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
