I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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