We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
