i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
