I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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