I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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