its not stalking. its research.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You're like the curious george of whores
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
