I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
