even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
