Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Found your dick twin last night
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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