Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
