Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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