I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't think brook has ever known best
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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