WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
