PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize