He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
