Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
