oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
