that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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