If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
