Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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