I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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