Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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