Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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