More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
