Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
