Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize