Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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